it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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