doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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