I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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