Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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