i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
