Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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