drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
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quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
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It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Two words: nipple clamps
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