Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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