Slut skills are useful in every country.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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