I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
