So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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