All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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