K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize