Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize