question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize