you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize