last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
