she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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