On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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