Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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