a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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