He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
