i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
