i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
