i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize