Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
