Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
