so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
