I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
