is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
