Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
