Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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