i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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