That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
