I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
