he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Randomize