i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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