how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
