i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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