So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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