doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
