is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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