Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize