Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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