the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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