ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize