I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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