It's just like the Real World with babies
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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