I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
