Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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