I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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