If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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