i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
