ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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