we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
