it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
