i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
