Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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