Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How does one acquire holy water?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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