Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
