I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
