i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize